Fuck, I really don't know what the matter is with me. Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? I'm just never happy anymore. And even if I am, it's just..so shallow and temporary. It's not true happiness. Not even close. I wna cry. Not that that's a bad thing. Crying's good. I just. I so want to be happy for my new iPod. I so want to be happy for my new phone. But deep inside, I'm just not. And it's just so much easier at this point to put on a happy face. When someone asks "how are you", I can go "oh, great". Because I mean, what the fuck's the point. It's not like they care, or want to. Everyone just tries to be nice. Because what, nice is in right now?
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I don't know if I can do this, although I was thrilled when you asked. I can't look you straight in the eye, you know. I know I'll fall for you if I do. It's too bad you sit between me and the teacher, I have to avert my eyes every time you look back.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I guess China decided to block LJ. Screw it, idk. I'm pissed, and I need to rant. So, here I am.
CAS journals/diaries due next Friday, and I have not a friggin' clue what I'm supposed to stuff in my 'CAS folder'. I mean wth, no one even really explained it to me. I guess I'll be bugging Mr. Covington on Monday.
This week was Group 4, and ugh, I'm so glad that's over. We still have the presentations to do and crap to turn in, but I'll worry about that next week. Or in a few days. Yea, whatever. And I thought Group 4 was supposed to be in senior year? Fah.
I swear, too much of my money this week has been going to Starbucks. Tall caramel frapp Friday after school, tall caramel macchiato yesterday, grande caramel macchiato today. This had better not become a habit, or my dad will have to find himself a money-tree.
Or he might have to find himself one anyway. I asked him for a N73 and a new ipod for my bday :) And I think he might actually be getting me both, so woot. But yah we'll see. Also, went shopping yesterday. Bought: Nine West wallet, Nine West bag, belt, some mascara. I love love love the bag, so I was happy for a few hours yesterday. Haha.
CAS journals/diaries due next Friday, and I have not a friggin' clue what I'm supposed to stuff in my 'CAS folder'. I mean wth, no one even really explained it to me. I guess I'll be bugging Mr. Covington on Monday.
This week was Group 4, and ugh, I'm so glad that's over. We still have the presentations to do and crap to turn in, but I'll worry about that next week. Or in a few days. Yea, whatever. And I thought Group 4 was supposed to be in senior year? Fah.
I swear, too much of my money this week has been going to Starbucks. Tall caramel frapp Friday after school, tall caramel macchiato yesterday, grande caramel macchiato today. This had better not become a habit, or my dad will have to find himself a money-tree.
Or he might have to find himself one anyway. I asked him for a N73 and a new ipod for my bday :) And I think he might actually be getting me both, so woot. But yah we'll see. Also, went shopping yesterday. Bought: Nine West wallet, Nine West bag, belt, some mascara. I love love love the bag, so I was happy for a few hours yesterday. Haha.
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